The Seattle International Comedy Competition

I've been a little busy this last couple of weeks. I was participating in the SICC. I say "participating" because that's what it felt like. I finished 9th out of 16. The first three shows were miserable. I was so worried about screwing up, that I didn't have any fun. The last three shows were great, too little too late. I didn't look at the scores for any of the nights until it was all over. When I did, I found that my scores were very inconsistent. One judge would give me his highest score, while another judge in the same show would give me his lowest score. I actually took a lot of encouragement from that. I don't want everyone to like me. I don't like most people. I want my comedy to reflect my personal life. There are plenty of people in my life that don't like me; but the won't forget me. It should be the same when I'm on stage.

i'm breaking down

i'm in a comedy contest this week, and i'm not having fun. i'm avoiding my scores all week; so i only know i haven't been in the top five yet. it's getting to me. i'm reevaluating my whole set, and considering going to the awkward personal route for tonight. i want to be committed to my set like i promised myself, but i'm not enjoying myself on stage. it's worse than usual. i'll let you know what i decide and how it worked out.

this is my new bitch site

i got into another FB fight with a booker. i talked to Sleighter (Andrew) about it, and he told me i should stop posting so much on FB. so i've decided to use this blog as my super negative bitch site. i like to write my rants out, edit them, and read them over and over again. something about looking at them on paper (or screen), makes them beautiful to me. there is a poetry in the way i complain, but only when i write my complaints down. there is a symmetry to them.

i'd bitch right now, but i'm tired. so i'll be back soon

Don Rickles

i went to see Don Rickles at the Snoqualmie Casino last night. my ticket was free, and yet i had a great seat in the second row of the center section, right in front of Don. he was amazing. he had a small orchestra accompaniment. the band leader was a wrinkled old guy, who played the perfect heel. Don just shit all over him, and he took it over and over with a stone face. Don kept dropping his microphone on the ground, then he would give the band leader some kind of condescending gesture or just yell "hey you!", then this poor old man would come waddling around from behind his piano and pick up the microphone to hand back to Don. it was so cute.

the show was great. he had a mix of songs and harassing the audience. then he pulled me out of the audience to come on stage with him and make fun of me. i was terrified. he made fun of my clothes and how fat i am and being Irish. he asked me what i do for a living, and i told him i'm a waiter. one of my favorite local headliners was in the audience, Duane Goad, and i heard him laugh out loud when i said it. Don asked me what i aspire to be, and i told him a comic. i've never been so ashamed of being a comic before. standing with a legend like him makes me feel like a fraud. but he was very sweet to me, and even whispered some encouragement to me. then he hugged me. it was part of the bit, but it felt very genuine. he held me for a very long time; so i honestly started hugging him. for a laugh, i slid my hands down his back almost to his ass, and started rocking side to side. i could hear the band guys laughing. it was great. he brought another guy on stage, and we did some old bit of his where we played Japanese Kamikaze fighter pilots. it was a lot of fun. he even dropped the microphone and made me pick it up for him. i didn't want to leave the stage. i just wanted to follow him around for the rest of the night.

he sent me a bottle of champagne, which i will keep for a long time. it's just cheap champagne, but it has a sticker of his face on the bottle, and a great story to go with it. what a great experience.

i wanted so much to go ask him to sign the bottle after the show, but the guy is 83 years old, and it was 930pm; plus i'm sure he's got a million people bothering him after every show. so i left it alone. he said he's coming back to Seattle. so maybe i'll get that chance.

Don Rickles is a sweet, charming, classy man, and a legend. just to see him live, and in the great seats we had, was more than i could ask for. but to get to meet him like that, and be on stage with him; i hope it's one of those ironic moments in my life: he got pulled on stage by Don Rickles, then he won the Seattle International Comedy Competition. something like that. i hope i can put it in my book in ten years, when i write about how i became a famous comedian.

i only got one picture out of it, and it's not very good, but i'm posting it with this blog anyway. so.. for you to enjoy: ...

moving in, and Hooters

i am all unpacked in the new place. i love it. i've cooked myself dinner three times already. there are a couple of things: a noisy fridge, and a noisy water heater. but those sounds are rhythmic. i'll get used to them quick. here are a couple of pictures of the new place.

last night, i did a show at a Hooters Casino. it was fun, but it was a slow start. there was some fat piece of shit sitting in the front with his back to me. then he pretended he wanted to be left alone. i'm still pissed about it now. a four year old kid acts like that. i called him fat and ugly, then i refocused, and the rest of my act went fine. i need to learn how not to let those kinds of pricks get to me. there is no reason why one asshole should be allowed to ruin a show for other people who are glad to be there. i'm actually cheating them out of what they want, and giving him exactly what he wants.