Tuesday, October 13, 2009

How to get $$$ from me if you're homeless

there is a Subway sandwich shop five blocks from my place. the only problem is that there is a bus stop right in front, and an abandoned building one block away. so, because of the public restroom inside, it's a favorite hangout for homeless. i can't go in there without at least one bum asking me for change.

i was on my way to feature for Rich Vos at Laughs in Kirkland. i was starved. i had just enough time to stop and grab a sandwich on my way. i didn't even have time to eat it there. i was just going to bring it with me to the club.

when i got out of my car, i saw this young homeless kid walking towards me. i knew he was going to ask me for change. i was planning on just waving him off and saying "sorry" before he had a chance. but he started talking when he was still fifteen feet away from me. he said "no one will listen to me." to which, i said "i'm not going to listen to you either."; and walked past him towards the door.

after i passed him, he yelled "you motherfucker! i'm gonna..."; and over my shoulder, i heard him running toward me. i turned around just before he got to me. he was right in my face. i said "don't you ever fucking run up on me like that (as if he knew me). i'll fucking kill you!" that's when he said the line that made me feel so grateful and like such an asshole: "i'm sorry man. i'm so fucking hungry it's driving me crazy; and no one will stop to even listen to me." i could see in his eyes; he meant it. i felt so bad for being such a dismissive prick, that i bought the kid a footlong, soda, and chips.

he said he wasn't on drugs; that he was from Bellingham, and got stranded trying to find work in Seattle. he said he needed to get back to Bellingham, and a bus ticket was only $18. i felt really bad; but guilt doesn't make me stupid. i wasn't going to give him any money' especially considering one of the three bags he was carrying was full of obviously stolen action figures (???). i also didn't have time to take him to Greyhound and put him on a bus. i told him i could do it the next morning. i gave him my card, and told him if he didn't get on a bus that night, to call me (he had a cel phone, of course. what bum doesn't?), and i'd get him a ticket home. that's when he started giving me attitude again: "what does it matter if you take me there or not? i'm not buying drugs. don't you trust me?" i told him i didn't trust him, and that if he was serious, he could survive one more night, and i'd get him on a bus first thing in the morning. he never called.

i felt really bad for the kid. he must have been pretty hungry, because he was half my size, and looked like he was going to kill me for a second there. i totally believe he was just some crack head trying to scam me. i don't care. i fed him. i offered him an opportunity to get home. it doesn't change my attitude about homeless. i'm still going to tell the next guy to get lost. but if he attacks me, i'll buy him a sandwich.

No comments: